


Little light of mine

by LaMarwy



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Bonding, Fix-It, Missing Scene, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28669107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaMarwy/pseuds/LaMarwy
Summary: If she was created to be the first woman and the first wife, it meant that she was created to be the first mother as well.In which Lilith muses on her current situation and Sabrina gets to meet little Adam.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 44





	Little light of mine

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why, ok? ~~Michelle's acting~~ Lilith and her baby completely ruined me and I'm so soft for them and they both deserved **so much better** than what they had.

LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE

Perhaps it was the idea of her own demoniac appearance, so different from the case of flesh she was wearing, perhaps it was Lucifer’s goat form impressed in her mind during ages of loneliness and suffering, perhaps it was simply the millennials spent birthing monsters and demons to expand the Dark Lord’s legions, but every time she looked down at her son, Lilith simply couldn’t reckon on his beauty.

How could the Lord of Lies and Deception, Bringer of Darkness, the impersonification of Hell and a self-made demoness could conceive something like a human-looking creature, was beyond her.

Whether she had to thank Blackwood’s Acheron of flesh, or her own, or the Dark Lord’s original angel features, her baby lacked any demoniac trait, and if he hadn’t bitten her finger just a few hours after his birth with his toothless mouth, Lilith would’ve even forgotten his true nature.

But even then, demon or deviated angel, or even human with unimaginable powers and surprising strength, Lilith was proud of her last creation.

Despite the sickening circumstances in which he was conceived, her son was perfect and, once of age, he would bring her the respect and the honor she deserved in her realm.

Lilith felt the need to protect him not only for the future outcome, Lilith felt the need to protect him because it was right, because it was her son - her only true one, not a demon originated from a rib, not a monster molded from clay or mud - a creature of flesh and blood whose survival depended solely on her.

Adam wasn’t born self-sufficient, he wasn’t born an adult nor viable. In order to see him grow, and man, she would have to nurture him and look after him.  
Despite her initial fears, despite the hesitations, despite the high-pitched cries that had her stomach twist for something unknown, Lilith realized the task wasn’t a burden after all.  
The first time she soothed him, after minutes that felt like millennials of useless rockings, Adam had looked up at her with his bleary grey eyes and, in that exact moment, she knew what she needed to do.  She knew that the pang in her stomach had never really affected her stomach, but her heart - the one she thought was rotten and useless - as if rejuvenated with motherhood.

After millennials of waiting, perhaps, Adam was revealing her true place, her truest form, the original one.

Because Lilith was capable of loving. She was capable of loving freely and completely because she was created by the False God for the sole purpose of it: she was originated to be the first woman and the first wife, but never once, in her entire existence, a man proved himself to be worthy of her affection, nor willing to give as much in return, except for Mary Wardwell’s Adam, to whom she lied, and who didn’t love her for what she was, but another in her stance.

But that was all irrelevant, now: because if she was created to be the first woman and the first wife, it meant that she was created to be the first mother as well. And that was the only thing that mattered.

The love for Adam was an entirely different thing. Something that, before, she couldn’t even imagine to exist.

After her banishment, the concept of emotions slowly drifted away from her, and decades after decades, they seemed to have gone into sleep inside of her; Adam had awoken them, with a whole array of new ones.

Her son was pure, unconditional love. Unlike every other man who crossed paths with her since her creation, little Adam was the only one worthy of her love.

People rarely came down to visit, and she preferred that way: her time with Adam was precious and needed to be cherished. Sixteen years for mortals and witches might’ve sounded a lot, but for her, who was born in the Garden, who had paced the Earth and Hell, and had known the World since it began, were barely a blink.

So despite what everyone else could think - loneliness had never scared her, and now that she had Adam it scared her even less - she was vexed when she heard the soft knocks on the door.

Without moving, she lifted her eyes, forcing herself not to shoo off whoever it was because that would’ve been rude and she couldn’t afford to be rude to the very people who had offered and granted them protection.

Quickly, she decided that it wasn’t anything dangerous, since Zelda was the one in charge with the delivery of bad news and she hardly ever knocked before entering - and why would she, since those were her very own private chambers - but it couldn’t be Hilda either, for the blurred silhouette behind the glass in the door didn’t resemble her. But it looked familiar, and painfully so.

“Lilith, may I come in?”

Sabrina. Sabrina was there, demanding to be received. Why? Something inside her told her that she should deny the girl passage - what if she was the Morningstar one, sent by Lucifer to snatch her baby from her arms?

But then again, Lilith was still powerful despite the near-death experience that had drained her magic, she had Hecate by her side and an entire Coven of witches a shout away. She could manage a kid. Also, curiosity was devouring her.

“You may enter.” She said, raising her voice just enough to be heard, but not enough to startle Adam, who had just drifted off to sleep as she rocked him.

She watched Sabrina cracking the door open and peeking inside. After being certain that no monster would have come and leaped at her throat, she slid in and, unlike her Aunt Hilda, she was wise enough to close the door behind her.

“Hi.” The girl greeted, hands closed into two fists as she hesitantly walked toward her, feet gliding so softly on the floor she hardly made any noise. Lilith stared at her. “I was told you gave birth.” She said, her voice trailing off.

“Why yes.” Lilith instinctively clutched Adam closer. “Thanks to your Aunts and under the protection of your Goddess.” She explained flatly, narrowing her eyes when the teen stretched her neck to peek at the bundle in her arms. “Was there something you wanted, Sabrina?” Lilith inquired. Was there a reason for those witches, especially the Spellmans, enjoyed bothering her so much?

She watched the girl freezing on the spot, an indecipherable expression on her face.  
Lilith could identify hesitation, embarrassment, fear perhaps, and even something akin to longing. She’d felt all those things, in the past; Lilith knew them well.

“I was hoping-” Sabrina mumbled, “I was hoping to meet my half... my- brother?” She gave a little shrug, face scrunched up in a grimace.

She was trying to hide behind a mask of denial, pretending it wasn’t a big deal, that she was only doing something normal. Sabrina could try and fool herself, but she could not fool Lilith: she had used those tricks for millennials. That sixteen-year-old girl had to play by her rules, hence if she wanted to see Adam so much, she needed to be worthy and drop her mask at once, so she should come to see her son as nothing but her true self.

Lilith exhaled and pretended to lose all interest in the girl. Peering down at Adam’s sleeping face, she tutted at him and smiled.

“If anything, my son is Sabrina Morningstar’s half-brother, not yours, Spellman.” She hissed her last name with all the spite she could muster, only moving her eyes to glare at her, and the flames in the mantel glowed just slightly brighter.

Sabrina jerked, but she didn’t move.

Lilith looked at her again, tilting her head when she saw the girl fidgeting, and heard her pant, and watched as her mask crumbled down, piece by piece, until her face was the reflection of her true sentiment, and bore nothing else but longing.

“Please?” She murmured.

Lilith knew how much desperation required to be begging, especially when posing bare and vulnerable in front of someone who held power and owned the sought object of desire. Or need, in this case.

Because Lilith could see it: Sabrina felt lost and she felt lonely.  
Before little Adam, Lilith too was both of those things.

Sabrina meant no harm, and now that she had been stripped from the ridiculous mask of hers, she was entitled to advance requests.

Smiling at her now, Lilith scooted to the side, making room for the girl on the edge of the bed she’d claimed as her own. Sabrina tried her best to suppress a satisfied grin, and happily but cautiously, perched herself on her designated spot.

Lilith unpeeled the corner of the blanket from Adam’s little skull so Sabrina could actually look.

Her Aunt Hilda had cried and wheezed when she handed her over the child after he was born, her Aunt Zelda had sighed proudly for the manifestation of her Goddess powers which had been crucial for the babe’s survival as well as her own, witches had buzzed around him and gasped in delight when he had been bathed and clothed before they had been both escorted to Zelda’s chambers… Sabrina just stared at him instead, a bittersweet smile plastered on her lips, eyes watery and full of sorrow.

Had Lilith ever been that lonely, after all? Sabrina was literally surrounded by people who cared for her, but no one seemed to understand her nor were able to provide the girl with what she truly needed.

“Can I?” Sabrina chirped out, clearing her throat to conceal the slight tremor in it.

Lilith eyes the outstretched arms of the teen and narrowed her eyes: she had promised not to let anyone but herself touch Adam.

“I suppose you can.” She sighed, battling with herself for a while. She hated how Adam immediately stirred and whined in protest when she had simply attempted to move him, but she reminded herself that he was fine, that it was safe and she soothed him promptly, gently guiding him into Sabrina’s waiting arms.

Adam cooed, scrunching his little face as she got accustomed to the new arms and Lilith released the breath she didn’t know she was holding, a fading glare leaving her eyes.

“Careful.” She warned, rearranging the blue blanket while Sabrina was busy finding a comfortable position for herself and Adam.

The girl scoffed, rolling her eyes just like her Aunt Zelda often did.  
“Relax.” She whispered. “I’ve held a baby before, Lilith.”

“One that bites?” She countered, lifting one eyebrow.

At that, Sabrina’s head whipped in her direction, an alarmed grimace on her face that teetered between disgust and horror.

“Did he bite you?” The girl wondered, brow pinched.

Lilith bared her teeth in a crooked smirk at the thought.

“My finger. He was barely two hours old.” She stated, somewhat proudly.

“Sick.” Sabrina threw at her an impressed smirk, nodding slowly, then averted her eyes and gazed at the baby in her arms, rosy tongue poking from between his lips as he cooed and stirred. “You know, Aunt Zee always said I tried to bite her too when I was born, though I always believed she was joking. You’ve beaten me.”

Lilith watched her son interact with Sabrina, his bleary newborn's eyes wandering around the young face of the girl, who was grinning and smiling as she gently rocked him.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” She suddenly gasped, immediately soothing Adam when he protested for the sudden movement. “Aunt Zee wants to organize a thing for him like- a naming ceremony, I don’t know-” She scoffed and made a funny face. “It’s supposed to protect him. I told her I would ask you, see if you’d agree.”

Lilith blinked, dumbstruck. Would she agree to that? Would a naming ceremony under the name of Hecate would protect Adam from the Dark Lord? And what would become of her plan for him to claim the throne when the time would come?

“We both survived thanks to your Goddess.” She replied hesitantly. “It would be rude to refuse her blessing, I suppose.”

Sabrina beamed, then winked at the boy, smiling at him conspiratorially.

“Hear that, little-” Then she frowned, looking up at Lilith once again, waiting.

“Adam.” The other answered, barely above a whisper.

Sabrina took the information in with another impressed look.

“Makes sense.” She concluded, though Lilith didn’t quite believe she actually could understand how much sense that name made.  
Sabrina didn’t know about her lover Adam; she didn’t even know about the monster she created and named after him, a creature to whom she was a mother as well, the same Sabrina vanquished. She didn’t know anything - nobody did.

The girl carefully passed the baby back to his mother and gleefully stood up. Sorrow completely erased from her, like a cloak removed with a flick of a wrist.

“I’ll go tell Aunt Zee right away.” She announced, but before sliding out the door, she turned back, clawing at the frame.

Lilith watched her, tilting her head to inquire what it was that the girl clearly wanted to ask.  
“Yes?”

“Can I come visit, from time to time?”

The other, once again, was at a loss of words. She swallowed through a suddenly dry throat, then nodded in tiny movements, a tensed smile creeping on her lips.

“Of course you can.”

“Awesome. ‘Night.”

Lilith stared at the closed door for a while, the only sounds coming from the fire crackling in the mantel.  
What did she agree on, exactly? She knew for sure she’d agreed on a naming ceremony, but would that include that Sabrina felt the need to visit more often? Or did she want to, and had just asked for permission? And what about Zelda, and the Coven, and all the people fussing around her baby and herself since the witch had taken her in?

She was so used to being alone, that she forgot what it meant to be part of something bigger. With Adam, she thought that void in her chest would be filled, and it had, but Lilith was just realizing it was much vast than she initially believed: because Adam had filled the biggest chunk, yet only after Sabrina had left - her words swirling in circles in her mind now - she truly felt fulfilled, complete.

Adam had awoken a lot of things now brewing inside her. From the moment he was born, Adam had brought her hope for the future; Adam had brought her pride; Adam had brought her joy; Adam had brought her love.

Was it possible that, perhaps, even if slightly broken, somewhat incomplete, and undoubtedly dysfunctional, Adam had brought her a family as well?


End file.
